Help with Break up in Derby
When you’re looking for help with break up in Derby it’s important to realise that it will be like the grieving following a bereavement.
When a relationship ends, even if you know it had to it can be difficult to manage your emotions for a while. That old cliche “time is a great healer” is absolutely true – but sometimes it can take much longer than you think it should. So when you’re looking for help with break up in Derby I’m able to give time a bit of a helping hand in putting that relationship well and truly into the past as far as your emotions are concerned. This doesn’t mean that you will forget what was good about that relationship if you don’t want to …. let’s face it – just about all relationships have happy elements to them …. at least in the beginning.
So if you find yourself looking for help with break up in Derby simply contact me, either through the contact page on this website, or email me on email@example.com or call me on 07582 865 265 . Remember everything is in the strictest confidence. I’ve been in practice in excess of fifteen years and carried out over that period more than 9,000 client sessions and you’ll find me a caring and considerate listener. What have you got to lose in making the enquiry ?
I’ve listed some tips below which you may find of help.
Help with Break Up in Derby
Break up – Tips
- Accept the empty feeling
That moment when you realize you’ve been dumped by the love of your life feels like death.The key is to allow yourself to embrace the grief if you ever want to move past it. Breaking up is very similar to a death because it is in fact the death of a relationship. For at least a couple of days, remember the good times and allow yourself to cry like mad. An exorcism if you will.
- Cut off all contact for real
In this case, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Absence is exactly what you need to cool off, process your feelings and change your perspective at the end of a relationship. Something I recommend is a period of no contact. No texts, emails or social media messages because you need time and distance to get emotional clarity. When you just break up with someone, your emotions are all over the place — you will likely miss them desperately and overlook all the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place just to have them there with you again.
- Feel your feelings
I’m a big believer in feeling your feelings – (that’s why my therapy provides help with break up in Derby) until you are done feeling them. But sometimes raw feelings, especially after a breakup, can get overwhelming, and that’s where my therapy fits in. It’s your best bet to manage intense and possibly destructive feelings after a relationship ends. Often when people are going through a breakup, they experience certain feelings (sad, anxious, angry, hurt, betrayed, etc.) that influence the way they think (e.g., It’s all my fault ! I’ll never find someone else ! I can’t trust people anymore ! etc.) — and vice versa. So, in order to move past a breakup, my therapy will let people allow themselves to experience their feelings fully. Don’t try to avoid or suppress feeling what you feel — emotions have a function and are there for a reason, even if unpleasant !
- Challenge your negative thoughts
If I’ve done it once, I’ve done it a thousand times. I start to allow myself to feel my saddest feelings after being dumped, and then my thoughts take a sordid turn into Crazytown, population: me. This type of post-breakup thought pattern is to be expected. Therapy can help challenge thoughts that are spinning out of control. Don’t buy into the thoughts that emerge (e.g., challenge predictions about the future, correct distortions in beliefs, etc.) and slowly but steadily re-engage the world (i.e., reach out to social supports, make plans that get you out of the house, exercise and eat well, return to healthy sleeping habits, take risks again [sensible risks] when it comes to dating).
- Be brutally honest with yourself
The only effective way to challenge your thoughts is with brutal honesty. This is the portion of post-breakup recovery that I like to lovingly call “ripping off the Band-Aid.” It hurts. It’s the only way out of this situation you’ve been living in. Eg. To process the breakup more quickly, be brutally honest about why it occurred. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’re compatible or that you have a future together. Chances are, this breakup happened for a good reason, and if it didn’t happen now, it would have happened down the line.
- Do you
OK, by this point, you’ve been crying your eyes out for days, and you’ve forgotten to wash your hair. While it may seem like nothing could comfort you more than your tear-stained / soaked pillow, To be honest this is the perfect time to get out of the house: Your mental health depends on it. Go get a great new haircut — completely different style ! Put the focus on a new improvement, not a loss.Use the breakup as an opportunity to strike out on your own in the world, and you can discover new hobbies and interests that can make you feel better and more confident about yourself.
- Get back out there
No, you don’t have to sign up for a dating website with a quivering chin and tear tracks still fresh on your face, but you do have to make an effort to spend time with people you care about. This step is critically important to bring back a sense of normalcy to your life — and to remind you of all the people you have in your corner. Go out and have a good time even if you’re not ready. Take a trip to do something entirely new. Go to new places and meet new people. Have fun. Be happy that you’re alive and free. You will have good days and bad, but take each day and know it will get better as time goes by. Just don’t wind up in another undesirable relationship to replace the old. Give yourself the time you need to heal.
- Look toward the future and don’t look back
After an especially bad breakup, it may seem impossible to think that you will ever love again — trust me, I know. But I believe that this sense of loss can open the door to great possibility. When you find yourself at the end of a relationship, I urge you to ask yourself this compelling question: “What else is possible now that wasn’t possible when we were together?” …… even in the midst of heartbreak, the end may be just the beginning. Move forward to create your life, and if the relationship can be created again with that person you desire to be with, it will be created from a greater, deeper place and not the same old place that made you break up in the first place. In my point of view, a breakup, especially stemming from an unhealthy relationship or perhaps just one that wasn’t meant to be, always leads to something greater.